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Riddle The Self – Reveal The Self

  • Dragon World BBS Blog: Dragon World BBS 1988

    STAR TREK

    Msg  #  :  10287 – Sunday July 17th From   :  STORMBRINGER SOULSTEALER To         :  ALL Topic    :  STAR TREK Hi, I never explained this on the summary so I better here (for those of you playing Star Trek for the first time)……………………… STR: Strength INT: Intelligence DEX: Dexterity END: Endurance CHA: Charisma LUC: Luck PSI: […]

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    IT’S LATE, CAN’T TALK

    =====[  Dragon World  ]=====[  7-20-88  ]=====[  10:42.42  ]===== Msg  #  :  Private From    :  LONGSHOT  . To         :   A VAZDRU PRINCESS Topic    :  IT’S LATE, CAN’T TALK I think I cracked a knuckle. I ruined my apartment. The place is trash ’ed. I feel like scum-dirt. Worst night of my life, and just after the […]

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  • Committment to Self

    All glory to God.

What Are We Doing Here?

What Am I Doing Here?

No, I’m not going into the trenches of the existential right out of the gate, I’m simply asking why I started this blog and what my purpose is for it.

As appropriate to my theme here, it started with a riddle.  A riddle that I’ve been riddling, in earnest, for the past 10 years, but before that, subconsciously perhaps, for my entire life.  What is my true purpose?  For the most part, I thought that my purpose would be a form of work.  A special genius that only I possessed, or a prodigal skill that would flow out of me like magic.  I didn’t expect that I’d have to work hard or practice the particular thing that would be my true purpose, I expected it to be completely natural and easy.  I would, of course, also be tremendously passionate about doing it.

Yet, as life went on, I couldn’t seem to find something I was particularly passionate about doing.  I took stabs at many things… many, many, many things.  Did I say many?  Yes, many.   I’m sure, as my blog progresses, I’ll share these experiences, but suffice it to say, for now, that everything I tried was ultimately dissatisfying.

On April 27, 2011, I did a Google search on the “fear of success” and shortly found myself reading pages and pages of a blog by Steve Pavlina.  He suggested an exercise that would help me find my true purpose in about 20 minutes.  Well, it was worth a shot.  Even though I hadn’t had much luck finding my purpose out in the world, I’d never really just asked myself the question.  I wrote it down: What’s my true purpose in life?  Then, I sincerely tried to answer the question.  I wrote down everything that came to mind.  Steve said that when I hit the right thing, it would make me cry.  I had my answer in only seven lines and about half the time Steve suggested.  When I hit the one, I didn’t just cry, I bawled.  A lifetime of sorrow gushed out of me.  It was like this great commandment had suddenly been revealed.  A commandment that I had ignored, reviled, hidden, and suppressed for so long, I didn’t even know it was there.  I thought I was lost in this world without guidance, without an objective, but I had been wrong.  Hallelujah, I had been wrong!   The answer was so simple:

To reveal my truth.

It still makes me cry.  I’m sure it will always make me cry.  Then followed reasonable questions like, what is my truth? and, how do I reveal it?   It took a while, and further riddles posed to myself, but now, here I am.  On a blog.  Revealing my truth.

My purpose for this blog is pretty straight-forward:

      1. First, I’ll be honest.  As honest as I can in any particular moment.  In my experience, there are depths to truth, and sometimes, it takes digging to get right to the heart of a matter.  Lao Tzu says that “The highest truth cannot be put into words” so, with the accepted limitation of words, I’ll commit to the highest level of honesty I’m capable of expressing.
      2. True honesty requires courage.  It’s already taking great courage to submit to this task.  Frankly, I’m terrified.  Yet, like the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz, I’ll gingerly hold my tail between my legs, accept the clattering din of my shaking knees, and roar anyway.
      3. Allowing intimate communication.  I have hidden for too long.  I have rejected intimacy in my relationships with others and I acknowledge that it has limited my ability to reveal myself.  I intend to fully connect and be personal here.  In writing, where I have a strong tendency to edit myself, I’ll question my motivation before striking a line.  Soon, I’ll do video posts as well, which should allow for an even greater intimacy, and less likelihood that I’ll be able to hide.
      4. Beyond everything I may aspire to in this forum or any other, all glory to God in the highest.

 What Are You Doing Here?

There is something I hope you’ll get out of this blog.  I don’t consider it an accident that in this vast tsunami of internet material, you have found this place, and me.  I hope my writing will inspire you to apply riddles to your Self and to your life experience.  I hope you’ll be motivated to discover your own answers.   I hope that when we share our riddles with one another we’ll access even greater depths of Self discovery.  Not the final frontier, but an infinite frontier, and an endless adventure, for those who choose to explore it.

I accept the liability that you may not always approve of my topics or the way I express my thoughts.  I may not, at first reading, appreciate your comments either.  Yet, by facing the difficulty of an initial aversion, I expect we’ll arrive at greater truth.  For me, even if each step is a blind risk, I’m confident in the ultimate objective, so I’m willing to take whatever steps are necessary.  You may not share the same willingness to stay the course here.  I trust that the next click of your mouse will take you closer to your own objectives.  Go in peace, with love.  Live long and prosper.  If the road brings you back, we’ll greet each other like old friends.

I truly hope you find something meaningful and valuable in these pages.  And I hope you enjoy whatever amount of time you spend here. 

With Love,  Amanda

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3 Responses to “What Are We Doing Here?”

  1. Awesomeness Ann! Good stuff, and I enjoy your writings. 🙂

  2. soaringdragons said

    An Open Invitation To Compose “Dying Sayings” in comments at http://soaringdragons.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/dying-sayings/

    This is an invitation that I am posting into the comments of the “About” pages of 188 randomly selected blogs. How did I find you? From Tag Surfer under “Spirit.”

    The inspiration for this request comes from Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase & Fable, Centenary Edition, Revised, 1981, Harper and Row, Publishers, New York. This book has 187 “Dying Sayings,” and I’m sure living WordPress bloggers and blog readers can write no less inspiring self-composed epitaphs than the historically famous.

    Among the “Dying Sayings,” pp. 369-372, are the below fourteen entries plus my own:

    Newton: “I don’t know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.”

    Richard I: “Youth, I forgive thee!” (Said to Bertrand du Gourdon, who shot him with an arrow at Challus. Then, to his attendants, he added): “Take off his chains, give him 100 shillings, and let him go.”

    Augustus (to his friends): “Do you think I have played my part pretty well through the farce of life?”

    Beecher (Henry Ward): “Now comes the mystery.”

    Goethe: “Light, more light!”

    Hannibal: “Let us now relieve the Romans of their fears by the death of a feeble old man.”

    Jackson (“Stonewall“): “Let us pass over the river, and rest under the shade of the trees.”

    More (Sir Thomas): “See me safe up [i.e. on ascending the scaffold]; for my coming down, let me shift for myself.”

    Mozart: “You spoke of a refreshment, Emile; take my last notes, and let me hear once more my solace and delight.”

    Poe (Edgar Allan): “Lord, help my soul!”

    Roland (Madame; on her way to the guillotine): “O Liberty! What crimes are committed in thy name!”

    Saladin: “When I am buried, carry my winding-sheet on the point of a spear, and say these words: Behold the spoils which Saladin carries with him! Of all his victories, realms and riches, nothing remains to him but this.”

    Webster (Daniel): “Life, life! Death, death! How curious it is!”

    Wordsworth: “God bless you! Is that you, Dora?”

    Soaringdragons: “I have been waiting for this moment since my youth, and it is with extreme anticipation that I wait now.”

    Feel free to compose as many of your own “dying sayings” as you wish in comments. Please bear in mind that this blog is P.G. and contains 19,000 words, none of which are swear words. So, the rule is that if your response includes ‘swear words’ (my own private definition being the standard) I will either edit the response or delete it, my option.

    I hope everyone contributes. Cheers!

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